Obsessing over Obsessions

The most well known facet of OCD is that of the compulsions performed in order to alleviate the anxiety - we all have a mental image (although some of us are more mental than others) of the typical OCD sufferer - an uptight, anal misfit washing their hands again and again, measuring the gaps between the droplets of water on the shower door, checking that the door is locked until the handle droops with despair.

This, however, is but one image of OCD. The illness is comprised of two different problems - the obsessively disturbing thoughts that the sufferer cannot control, not matter how hard he tries (and the harder you try, the more power they gain) and the compulsive actions that everybody recognises.

Everybody has intrusive thoughts - everyone has imagined throwing themselves under a train impulsively, everyone has done a spontaneous U-turn on their way out in order to check that they have turned the oven off, but it is what you do with this thought that counts (pun not intended)

With OCD these thoughts are not everyday worries or horrible images in your mind, they are associated with the misguided belief that we are somehow able to stop harm from occuring, that we have the power to control these events. By ascribing such power to meaningless thoughts, we try too hard to stop the "bad thing" from happening - this is where the compulsions come in. This hyper-responsibility is the very essence of OCD, and I'll come back to it in a future post.

In giving these thoughts the attention and importance that they crave, the sufferer ends up in a vicious circle - the intrusions become more frequent and more distressing.

Most sufferers (it can be different in children) recognise that the obsessions are ridiculous - this is known as insight in the mental health world (the nice people in white coats that look after us crazy people). I know, for example, that I am not a violent person and that I will not kill my brother, however I refuse to touch a sharp knife, consumed by the anxiety that this situation generates. The "what if"s dominate my life and mean that I am trapped in the hell that is OCD, and the only way out is by testing these hypotheses, by proving to myself that these horrific thoughts and images will not "come true".

It's not as easy as it sounds.

Obsessively compulsively yours,

Bellsie