I want to write about the Y-BOCS (the scale that is used for evaluating OCD), I want to write about the biology of OCD, about the medication that is used to treat it, about how I’m doing with my CBT. However, I am more and more drawn to the idea of using the blog as a confessional, to share with you all (well, the one or two that will read this) how I really feel and not just the “I’m fine” that I casually throw to my parents or my psychiatrist.
There is a problem. I have reached a point where I have to consider my audience – who is reading this? When I started writing this blog I sent the address to a few carefully selected individuals who were aware that I had a problem – friends and family members, but it’s not really meant for them. What was originally going to be a tool with which to better explain what OCD actually is and how it affects my life is in danger of becoming a soup of introspection and self pitying posts, but do I really want a friend to know that I have obsessions about killing them? It is likely that they will not understand that this obsession is as unfounded as the rest of the bunch that I keep tied up in my muddled brain and could perhaps (and not entirely without reason) be more than a little startled.
Ah, the refreshing debates sparked by modern technology!
Obsessively compulsively yours,
Bellsie
I follow a mixture of technical blogs and personal ones, so I am fine with confessional soup. If you ever start to have obsessions about killing me, then I can only say that you would not be the first, and (as far as I can tell) no one has succeeded yet ;)
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