Addition - Toni Jordan

This is slightly more difficult to do than I thought it would be – although there are all sorts of books and films which feature OCD, the decision of whether to analyse them carefully, dissecting every scene or to be content with a shorter piece was not easy. So I’m going to give this a go, and we’ll see how it turns out… yes, you did hear that right, I am introducing an element of spontaneity into my life.

So, today I’m going to talk about Addition; a funny, quirky novel by Toni Jordan. Let’s start with a quick resumé, shamelessly lifted from the author’s website –

Grace Lisa Vandenburg counts. The letters in her name (19). The steps she takes every morning to the local café (920); the number of poppy seeds on her slice of orange cake, which dictates the number of bites she'll take to finish it. Grace counts everything, because numbers hold the world together. And she needs to keep an eye on how they're doing.

Seamus Joseph O'Reilly (also a 19, with the sexiest hands Grace has ever seen) thinks she might be better off without the counting. If she could hold down a job, say. Or open her kitchen cupboards without conducting an inventory, or make a sandwich containing an unknown number of sprouts.

Grace's problem is that Seamus doesn't count.
Her other problem is...he does.

The first thing I would like to say about this book is that after reading, I automatically assumed that the author suffered from OCD – she explains it so well, the utterly nonsensical thought processes, the importance that the rituals hold and the way that it affects those around the sufferer. Not only did she choose a less well known aspect of OCD, but she manages to pull it off with humour, without belittling or mocking the illness.

Grace has had OCD since she was a child - it appeared after a traumatic event (which is revealed to us later on in the book) and has gradually consumed her life, leaving her unable to work (she has a Maths degree and worked as a teacher). Her OCD is severe but very controlled - by keeping the rituals to the maximum she is able to avoid much of the anxiety.

Her family have learnt to work around the OCD, and I think that they are pretty despairing. She has a niece who accepts the OCD as part of her aunt is a great character, providing a nice juxtaposition to the rest of her family. They obviously love Grace, but are unsure how to handle her.

And then Seamus walks in and sweeps Grace of her feet - and as her OCD becomes more and more evident, she is forced to come clean about it. I love the scene where she explains her OCD and how it affects her - it felt so familiar, especially the fact that handwashing came up immediately... I can't count how many times I've been asked about that!

Seamus encourages her to have some treatment, and when Grace decides to accept help, she is offered a combination of group therapy that seems to be loosely based on CBT and medication. I love the group scenes – the element of competition between the members, swapping tips and questioning how ill the others really are. The therapist is portrayed as a bit of a hippy – always going on about journeys and other metaphors that do tend to grate. I’m not sure that it’s the most accurate representation of CBT, but it made me laugh out loud at points!

Then there’s the medication issue – Grace describes how her head seems to split in two, a sort of angel and devil on each shoulder. I didn’t like this – I haven’t met anyone describing it like this and I think that it could put people off trying medication…

Grace finally decides that she doesn’t want to be cured – she comes off the medication and stops the therapy. The problem is that I just don’t see that this is a permanent solution – by giving in to the OCD and working around it, it just gets stronger. I have met people who don’t want to get better – who have too much invested in being ill, or who can’t take the risk that CBT demands you do and it makes me sad – you can’t want to live like this forever.

The main conclusion that can be drawn from this book is that we should accept people for who they are, and not expect them to change. Grace comes as a package – OCD and all, and Seamus decides that she’s worth it. It’s a lovely idea, but not really the answer when it comes to OCD. CBT is hard, but living with OCD is harder... and I can't help but wonder how long the relationship will realistically last - what is an amusing quirk at the beginning of a relationship isn't quite so sweet when it's three o'clock in the morning a year later...

I did enjoy this book and would recommend it to others... but with a couple of warnings:

1) Medication for OCD takes trial and error - if one drug makes you feel flat and emotionless then another may not. It can take a lot of shuffling and trying different combinations before finding "the one".

2) Living with someone with OCD is not that easy - giving in to the demands of OCD means that it becomes stronger and stronger, dominating family life, and fighting it leads to tears, strops and lots of worry...

3) Treatment is hard work, but it is so worth it. To be able to live normally, to have OCD free hours, days, weeks and hopefully months is fantastic, and it is worth fighting the fight.

However, after everything, someone with OCD is still a someone. We can get lost beneath the illness and just the thought that someone who is not related to me could love me, obsessions, compulsions and all is a lovely thought.

Obsessively compulsively yours

Bellsie